Married, “In Love,” and Committed — Because You Have To

It is a sad truth, but some people trick themselves into believing that the love they have now is what they’re worth. This love is the only one they have and they should be grateful for the little they receive.

While their marriages started rock solid, some spouses find themselves wondering where all the feelings went. They’re not happy anymore, but they still choose to stay. Still bound to a ring, their relationship is no longer grounded on love — it’s more of a convenience.

You might be experiencing the same thing.

Defining a Convenient Marriage

It used to be that people had practical, financial, or political motivations for staying married. The term marriage de convenance was popular during the 1700s and 1800s, the same time romantic ideals entered the scene.

Today, however, the phrase has an extended reach. The legal team from points out an opposition between marrying “for love” and staying married “for the sake of love” or other non-love related motives.

The Relationship as a Safety Blanket

Couples today don’t stay in marriages for political gain. Some of them stay because they refuse to be alone or face the uncertain. It doesn’t matter if their spouse does not satisfy some of their needs; as long as they are in the relationship, everything’s okay.

Despite the lack of intimacy, the familiarity of the setup convinces them stay. If the marriage still provides financial security, they’d rather bottle up their feelings. The routine is comfortable, so why ruin everything?

Also, there’s the fear of what people will say. The social obligation of informing others of a failed relationship terrifies others. Instead of facing others, they think it’s best to put up a happy appearance and brush everything off.

You Don’t Have to Stay

Lying to yourself takes its time before everything implodes. You can change your picture of marriage rather than focus on your needs. You’ll stay happy for the time-being, but it won’t be easy.

If the marriage is no longer fulfilling, talking with a counsellor helps. You can still sort out differences with your spouse. But if matters are beyond your control, leaving might be the best option.

Never settle for less. A convenient marriage can secure you for now, but you might never achieve true happiness if you stay.